mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
