Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
