i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didn't notice because vodka
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
