What did we do last night that was yellow?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
