would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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