i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
