it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
