I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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