guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
