they need to just BURY HIM!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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