My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
