how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
where are you?
Hypothermia
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
