Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
