I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize