We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dick very happy bro
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
