Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
