I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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