your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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