so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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