New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
