I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize