Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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