Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
