Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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