yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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