At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
