come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
