i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
