She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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