umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
