i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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