You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
