just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
