i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize