I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
