just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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