We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
