I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
