I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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