K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
