at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
