on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
