Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
