I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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