Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
