just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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