R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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