I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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