the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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