i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
