Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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