Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
