It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
