I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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