remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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