No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
