too bad you live with your parents still
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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