After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
