On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
