There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
