If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize